The airport

And the shape of my heart

I’ve got a big, fat heart. It’s so big it is enormous. It is a bigger version of the heart that I used to have.

Every shape is just the same shape over and over again. Especially the shape of my heart. That is what I have learned from choosing my heart as a starting point and drawing a line from it to other hearts.

Every place is also the same shape inside of a different shape, kind of hiding, kind of obvious. And every encounter is the same encounter inside one of those shapes, in a shape that is the same as all the other shapes, but spiralling and spiralling outwards so that you kind of can’t tell that this shape is the same as the shapes that came before it, because it is getting bigger and bigger. It feels different, and it is different, as you lose sight of it and don’t realise that it is the same shape in a new form.

Everything is still magic. The shape is the same, but the space it occupies changes.

Does this make sense to you? Because it made sense to me when I learned about it.

I read an article about airports in the business traveler magazine on a flight from London to New York. Sometimes airports are built to be announcable. Announcable is the word they used, and new to me but deeply familiar; new shape hiding in an old shape.

Announcable sounds shallow, but announcable is also exciting and fun so it sounds good to me, I’d like to try it, but announcable does not imply substance. Really an airport mostly does not need to be announcable. If instead it is deliverable, this is the word they used, an airport can keep itself going.

Some of these airports are so undeliverable that they are now storing rice and aeroplanes, which I think is a nice mix of things to be stored together but separately. These stored aeroplanes are not working aeroplanes. I assume that the rice is for cooking and eating. Some of these announcable undeliverable airports are abandoned. I imagine walking through an abandoned airport is a similar feeling to walking through a venue before the doors open.

Deliverable is a word that sounds very boring. I have an urge to be announcable. But I want to live deliverably. I have now begun to see myself as an airport.

Seeing as I am now an airport, I have decided to build myself in the shape of the kind of airport I would like to be. I am a point from which a line can be drawn from my heart to other hearts. The airport does not need to be announced. I am certain that soon I will find out which shape the airport is hiding inside of. And which shape is hiding inside of it. Possibly a shape similar to the shape of my heart. But I think the shape is one that keeps me running, so that the airport does not abandon itself.

I have a little idea inside of my head. It is a very, very small version of a shape I have seen before. It is an airport.